Managing Pets During a 911
It’s been two days since my last Percocet and the surgeon's scalpel dumpster dove into my abdomen. At 10:53 PM last Thursday evening I finally relented that the hob goblin twisting my intestines was not going to slumber. I inevitably needed to make a trek to the ER for help. As a single gal, I am used to hauling out my own trash in the snow, killing spiders and replacing lightbulbs 12ft high. But, facing a health crisis alone with two needy dogs and a clingy cat blows chunks in epic proportions.
I’ve competed in dog sports long enough to know a huge populous of competitors are singletons. So, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned to make coping with the unforeseen (e.g. death, medical disasters and etc.) more manageable when your closest relative is Alexa or Siri. When the 911 dog poop hits the fan, you need to have a 24/7 plan in place to care for Fido and friends.
It took me two whole hours to get myself showered, dressed and to put out provisions for my pets before I drove myself to the hospital. In between spewing like Linda Blair, collapsing in pain and handling the flop shakes of dehydration, I managed to hygienically correct myself enough to omit any lingering stench of a witch’s vomitorium. Because, even if you are dying you better do it in clean underwear and smell pretty.
The most excruciating and time-consuming chore was setting-up a survivalist’s self-serve station until my pets could be looked after. I hauled a baby pool inside and filled it with cedar chips for the dogs to use as a drive-thru bidet, filled enough water bowls to quench King Kong’s thirst and piled a month’s worth of food into a makeshift pig trough. At midnight, Cinderella opted not to call anyone and drove her pumpkin to the nearest ambulatory bay, leaving my critters warm at home not knowing what the coming hours would bring.
The ultrasound confirmed I needed a date with a scalpel stat. I wouldn’t see the inside of my dwelling (or my dogs) for three days. Here is my time-tested list of imperatives everyone should have in place to deal with your pets in an unexpected crisis:
1. Have someone on speed dial with a house key that can access your home and pets.
2. Ensure your pets are current on all vaccinations including Bordetella and Canine Influenza, which are required by most boarding kennels.
3. Keep a PDF of your pet’s vaccination records (including a signed rabies certificate) on your phone, so they can be easily e-mailed or texted to a boarding facility if needed.
4. Tape a printed instruction list with your veterinarian's and preferred boarding kennel’s name and contact info, feeding guidelines, pet photo/name/age and any medications along with your In Case of Emergency (ICE) contact; keep the document printed and taped in a conspicuous place inside your home. Also, have printed copies at the ready to take with you in a crisis, including contact names/numbers for people that can help foster your pets in an emergency.
5. Keep your emergency contact listed as ICE in your phone, so any first responders can access your contact’s information. You can also have an ICE PETS if it is someone different than your own personal ICE.
6. Inform any first responders (if you are able) not to take your pets to a shelter. If you are unable to communicate, having this information conspicuously visible in your home, on your phone and in your vehicle (e.g. contained in a PVC tube) will be extraordinarily helpful in a 911 situation.
7. Keep a signed document authorizing a named third party to make medical decisions for your pet(s) and attest you will be responsible for all related costs.
8. Proactively make financial provisions for your pets if they need interim care. My bestie is jointly on one of my bank accounts and has her own related debit card, so she can handle any of my pet’s expenses if I am incapacitated. I also allow my veterinarian and boarding kennel to keep my credit card number on file to charge any emergency expenses, and they have my list of three 911 contacts in the event of my death, or I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.
9. Store an easy to grab 911 bag for your pets complete with: food, water, collapsible bowl, collar/tag, dog leash, cat harness/leash, potty pads, cat litter/pan, Sherpa (for smaller animals) prescription medications, a veterinary emergency kit, vaccination records including a rabies certificate, a toy, chewie/bone and collapsible crate, in case there isn’t room or time to transport a hard crate. I recommend keeping your emergency critter kit in the front hall closet. And, don't forget poop bags, because even in a crisis you need to pick-up your dog's crap!
10. Have a handy 911 stash of pet food, water and a loo in lieu of being able to take your dogs outside. In retrospect, I could have made it a lot easier on myself if I had kept my 911 accoutrements more easily accessible. Instead, I had to haul a kiddie pool and heavy bag of cedar chips in from the garage amidst the Pussycat Dolls pole dancing with my gallbladder. Also, heaving heavy bags of pet food and water-filled bowls was as pleasant as carrying President Trump on my back thru the Golden Arches (…..or showers). Moving forward, I will keep 911 provisions more turnkey, which can save both time and pain in the event of a crisis.
I am pleased to report all went well with my surgery. My pack of jackals and their feline foe are happy to have me home again, just in time for Winter Storm Jaxon....and hauling my trash solo in the snow.
